Wednesday, November 12, 2008

America..Fred Sanford Got Deployed.....

And his junk yard was overtaken by Declutters R US!
It is with VERY tired eyes, and fingers that I write this post. I want to tell you about a soldier that shall remain anonymous, Army's Finest....let's call him Fred....Sanford if you yeaaaah , Fred is in the Army, has been for like 15 years.In the 15 years that I have known him, he has been known to "collect " stuff".For what?I don't know.Why do most pack rats collect stuff???....In hopes that we will be prepared for a nuclear fall out, and a blizzard, and just in case six people show up the house at the same time needing a step stool.That has to be the reason why Fred has 6 step stools.Fred is very eclectic in his collection.He LOVES brief cases, and bags.I hear his wife does to.(But that's different)She also has a collection of shoes....(that's essential...)He collects coffee makers, filters, furniture.....what ever you name it, he'll fix it, need it, and has to have it...and like 5 others like it.I must have counted like 7 to 10 electronic know the kind with green, yellow and red.Really????how many tv's and vcrs does Fred need to hook up...that already isn't hooked up already?Fred....*shakes head* Fred ...I know your wife and you know clutter makes her a little wound*sigh* ....I
am not sure if he is gonna be mentally prepared for the declutter project that took place when he left.The thing is, I hear his wife does this EVERYTIME he leaves.She knows its prime time to get rid of stuff... that he has not seen or used ...and if he didn't take it to war...then ....he doesn't need it.Or at least the other 9 replicas of it.
So I hear Fred took it very well when his wife showed him the pictures of the garage.that must mean he is use to it....he has to this time I understand his wife promises not to throw away clothes, or his Mr Rogers shoes he LOVES to cut grass in.She will not make concession for the many camel backs, or the collection of "stuff"....I am too tired to even name
So yeah, if we hear a report on Newzjunky, or news 10 NOW, of a irrational soldier named SGT SANFORD, then you know why.....he may be unstable.Call the president, Secretary of Defence, and even Al Sharpton if you have to....he may be very hard to maintain!In the mean time yall look out ,and be prepared for a neighborly visit, or a friendly request from like 6 people asking for step stools, 3 of them may score and get a hammer each.9 others may show up needing a drill.......and even more important is the mad rush of like 6 people asking to use jumper cables.....hey Fred is prepared for it.
Hey ...I ain't mad at Fred.... he's Prepared!

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